Generally, in the dead of night of night time, I prefer to get out into the residence’s dusty third flooring balcony and sit silently. I get to squint into the home windows and balconies of different residences. It’s from a distance however it’s revelatory nonetheless.
A person is shooing pigeons off of the clotheslines on his residence’s balcony. The pigeons have dirty a number of the garments and the person places these garments on the ground of the balcony. Is that this for the maid to return and accumulate and redo this laundry within the washer? There’s a washer within the balcony. Are they even permitting home assist inside their house throughout COVID? The pigeons refuse to depart. It’s darkish and the birds can not see, so that they return to the well-lit balcony. How did the person even know that there have been pigeons within the balcony? I hear them generally. Scratching on the highest of the steel cowl of the air-conditioners put in at my residence. Possibly they did the identical at this man’s residence. I can see an air-conditioner in his balcony.
My eyes wander to one thing flickering in one other window. It seems like a display screen – a big one. A tv maybe. However what’s with all of the scrolling? Possibly it’s a screen-saver of some type? The scrolling stops. Ah. They’re scrolling via what I can solely think about are limitless choices on their tv. Think about as a result of I don’t have a tv out of alternative. Haven’t had tv, or the related channels and packages, in over 12 years. I’m guessing that the variety of exhibits should have solely burgeoned.
A small gentle exhibits up in one other window, which is in any other case solely darkish. It seems like a smaller display screen. Bluish gentle. The display screen is turned in the direction of the window. Possibly they’re making an attempt to have a look at one thing with out disturbing the sleep of whoever else is within the room? It’s too far for me to discern what’s on the display screen. This jogs my memory that I must get my eyes checked. That is one thing that I’ve been which means to do for greater than six months now. I believe that I’ve not gotten round to doing this as a result of I’m going to search out out that my eyes want glasses. For some purpose, it seems like a betrayal. My eyes have betrayed me. My identify is “Naina”. I mustn’t want glasses, ever. My ego is interfering with optical well being.
There’s a whiskey glass with gin and tonic in it, sitting subsequent to me. I sip from it intermittently. It’s 40 levels C outdoors. The drink has gotten heat. Not less than there are not any mosquitoes to chew my naked legs. I shove a free part of my over-sized t-shirt underneath my bra-less breasts. The sweat there will get absorbed by the t-shirt. I really feel barely much less uncomfortable, shopping for myself just a few extra minutes on the balcony.
My neighbor’s lounge lights are on. It’s late for him to have his lights on. Don’t previous individuals sleep early? Particularly lonely previous individuals whose spouses have handed away? He lives alone. He took up school once more, after his companion handed. I’m wondering if he would ever seek advice from his spouse as his “companion”. She was candy. However ultimately, most cancers had its approach.
Who am I calling previous anyway? I turned 41 this 12 months. Once I was 20, I used to suppose 40 12 months olds had been previous. Now who’s previous? I must be sort to myself. Not less than in my very own head. I must be light. My therapist instructed me that I ought to change the dialog in my head. Or was it a self-help guide I learn? I can not recall appropriately.
It’s too sizzling now. The breeze has stopped solely. I get up, mud my shorts, decide up the glass and gingerly open the door. The air-conditioned air is supernaturally inviting. I take an enormous breath and really feel rejuvenated immediately.
I’ve no issues in my life. None which can be what I’d name “actual issues”. I’m instructed that modern-day issues of modern-day people are additionally respectable issues. That simply because now we have higher medical science, the marvels of expertise at our finger-tips, every kind of meals from everywhere in the world spilling out of the fridge, it doesn’t invalidate the issues we face.
Having by no means been comfy with that notion, I’m wondering, what are our greatest issues these day? Somebody stated one thing imply to me on social media? Pigeons dirty my laundry? I awoke an hour after the alarm went off? Not having the ability to resolve which lodge to curry favor with, for a celebration with my associates? Which sort of mango to eat? ( There are three varieties in my fridge proper now. )
No surprise my sister laughed her ass off once I instructed her that I obtained a stiff neck, as a consequence of a muscle pull, although I did nothing all day.
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